highs and lows, you go first
Friday, January 18, 2013 at 09:15AM 
Happy Birthday, Neel!
A long time ago, my friend Megan told me that she and her family did "highs and lows" where at the end of the day, they each listed the highs and lows of their day. As with most of my parenting precepts, I promptly stole that idea and pawned it off as my own. For years, each night at bedtime, I would say to Callum, "Highs and lows..." and we'd race each other to say, "You go first!" Sometimes it's hard to pick. You hope you have fewer lows and many highs to choose among. Sometimes it's a fine line that we walk between joy and sorrow. Today is Neel's birthday, and quite honestly I know of no other man deserving of celebration of this one. I'd whisk him off to the most beautiful garden in the world if I could (any suggestions?) and let him wander around for hours. We're cooking out (his choice) and we're opening presents. But grown-up birthdays aren't always jubilant ones.
We did not get the news we were hoping for about our girl.
She's with us now, and she's not in pain. Next week we'll take some (non-invasive) steps to keep her with us as long as we can.
We're heartbroken. We're heartbroken.
Reader Comments (21)
Indeed, life is full of ups and downs. We celebrate life one day at a time, and are grateful for the many more to come. Happy birthday dear Neel, -I can think of Giverny like garden at the Skineatlass, NY Le Mirabeau Spa for a garden to walk and get lost in thought.
For darling Violet, what a blessing to have a loving and caring family around to make you feel better!
Many blessings to both!
Have a very happy birthday Neel! I'm so sorry about Violet, I know that you will cherish the time you have with her. They are our little, furry family members... {{{HUGS}}} xxoo
My heart hurts for all of you. I am so sorry about Violet. She knows that she's special and she knows that she's loved. Thank goodness she found you. Not news one wants to receive on one's birthday. We send lots of love and birthday wishes and hope that you'll find a way to set some of the heartache aside for a bit and celebrate Neel.
There are no words for that kind of pain, and my heart breaks for all of you (including the other pups) that you are having to deal with it. Let everything else go and soak up every moment together right now. Take lots of photos. Do what makes you (all) happy. Those moments are all that matter in the end. Sending love and comfort your way. xo
Best wishes to Neel on the anniversary of his birth. We celebrate his life! In a similar but markedly different way, we celebrate the life and love of Violet. May your final days with that adorable pooch be extended and sprinkled with moments you'll cherish forever. (On an anticlimactic note, I love these photos.)
The pictures are spectacular. The ones of Neel and Neel and Callum are ones I would love to have on my wall here in TN. Each one tells a true story. Happy Birthday to Neel. I for one am very, very glad he was born and came into our lives. I know his heart is hurting today. What a mixed up day for you all.
And then, Violet. You capture Violet's nature so well. Anyone who sees those pictures will understand what a blow it is to receive her diagnosis.. We who love pets love all our pets so much. But there are the ones that somehow lodge themselves in our hearts in a deeper way. Since I've had the opportunity to see you and Violet together I know that she is that special one for you, sweetie. My heart aches for you.
Holding you all in my heart (including Lucy and Thea).
.
Oh, you poor dears. I am so sorry about Violet, truly. I was wishing and praying for a better outcome for her, and I'm so sorry you are all going through this. She is an absolute doll of a pup, just look at that sweet face! She is surrounded and filled to the brim with love. That has to be the biggest comfort of all to her. And to you, too.
A very happy birthday to a very special guy. Enjoy grilling! And if you're looking for awesome gardens, Longwood up here is amazing. Or there's always the Jardin du Luxembourg in Paris ;) xoxo
Awww, Lauren. Yeah, that's life for you. Roller-coaster-ish, for sure. I am happy for Neel's birthday and wish him lots of joy. I am so terribly sorry about Violet. I know you will enjoy every moment of your time left with her and you WILL remember how lucky Violet is that her mama and all her people love her so much. That's so important, believe me. Hang in there and keep us posted. xo
Happy Bday to your husband. Sounds like your pup is doing better or at least not in pain right?
I know how much you love sweet violet and she loves you and the pain of separation is the price for love. I'm so very sorry you are going through this difficult time. Much love to all of you and special birthday wishes to my favorite scientist. xo
Happy, Happy Neel Day! I am so very glad you were born. We are reminded daily of the precarious balance that is life. Some reminders are harsher than others and I am so, so sorry that you are all hurting right now. Love to you.
Are you sure his name is spelled NEEL? 'Cause I heard differently. wink!
I hope that Neel has the best day ever and gets lots of presents.
And if I were there, as much as I'm against it, I'd give your puppy a hug.
mark
Aw, Lauren. [pause] I think we were all collectively hoping for better news for Miss V. It's in these very moments that we realize time is precious. I play "high and low" with my kids too! At night, just as we're about to fall asleep, I ask, "What was the best part of your day?" and "What was the most difficult?" When I first read about the idea in a book, I didn't know if my kids would take to it. They ended up loving the ritual, and it's a wonderful way to end the day, right?
I swear sometimes we are telepathically speaking to each other (on our blogs). If that's indeed true then you undoubtedly know what I'm thinking right now. ;) [Hint: Sending you lots of positive thoughts.] Happy birthday to that special man up top. He's definitely a "high." You all have a wonderful weekend, L! x
oh lauren, i am so very, very sorry. it's breaking my heart just looking at her in the photos, so i can't even imagine. it looks like she will be very willing to oblige lots of cuddles and love from you all though, so you can fill her up, fill her up good.
HB neel! i just adore that photo of cal and neel! xo
Oh Lauren my heart just aches looking at the photos of sweet Violet and reading that the outcome at the vet was not what we all hoped for. At least she is not in pain. Shower her with love and affection! On the last photo it looks like she has ears like Yoda...And now to the highs, happy birthday Neel!
been there, had that well-loved family pet. so sorry. good luck with your palliative care, and please keep us up on things. i was just a mess when my sweet dog died. thinking of you.
happy birthday, neel! you'll have to schedule another time to celebrate in addition to today. your party is NOT over tonight! it's just starting.
I'm soo sorry about Violet..sweet sweet dog. We've been through this with our beloved dog Sam a couple of years ago. I kept a clipping of his hair in an envelope and we have lots of wonderful memories we share regularly. How will the other two dogs go? (((((hugs)))) at this sad time. Happy Birthday to your husband Neel.
Oh, Lauren! That picture of Violet's sweet upturned face makes my heart so heavy. I'm so very sorry to hear your news. Know that you are never far from my thoughts. *Hugs*
P.S. I hope Neel gets the chance to have a truly happy birthday whenever it feels right for you all. xoxo
I am so very sorry to hear the news about Violet. All of us who are lucky enough to have four-legged friends face these times and it never becomes easier. Violet is so lucky to be a part of your family and I know you will cherish this time you have with her. Every time I have lost a wonderful friend, I so appreciated when I could get to the place when a thought or memory of something they did made me smile instead of feeling the sorrow. I'm glad you have each other. Thinking of you all.
Ah sweetie I'm so sorry about Violet, that's so sad :((( thinking of you xx
I love how happy you and Neel are, it's so lovely to see. Happy birthday Neel! And I think you should take him to Hidcote and Barnsley House. Both perfectiousness of English gardens x
I also love botannical gardens and there's a beautiful one in Devon at Overbeck and a tea plantation in Cornwall that I want to visit. x
Firstly, happy belated to Neel. I'm so sorry about Violet. My thoughts are with your family